Just tell me I look amazing, please.

Over the past three weeks of pregnancy I’ve had a definite growth spurt, one which has tested my sense of humour and my self-esteem. Never mind my body, this has been a mental challenge.

When it comes to body confidence I’ve always been relatively laid back. I’m not super confident by any means but I think I have it in control. I am a ‘live to eat’ kind of person and it’s my number one way to socialise, I just don’t want to give up food I love for the sake of being an inch smaller round the waist. As boring as it sounds, it is all about moderation and I have it in hand.

However never before have I come into contact with so many people who have all thought it was ok to tell me I am ‘massive’. Which even for the most body confident female, can be testing.

The first time I came across comments on my pregnant body was at 12 weeks. I was meeting a work contact from Australia when I told her I was pregnant and she was quick to ask me how much weight I’ve gained and seem shocked at how big my bump was (I swear, there was nothing there). I soon dismissed her as talking out of her arse when she went on to give me her ‘best bit of advice’ which is to only eat M&Ms in the three days leading up to my due date in case eating actual food leads to an ‘accident’ on the delivery bed and my husband can’t unseen what he’s seen. I kid you not. But still, I was shocked that my weight and appearance was such a focus from a relative stranger at such an early stage.

The past couple of weeks I have gained a bump, which I love because it’s my baby’s home and is keeping him or her safe. I’ve also gained a little all over, despite not really eating any more now than I did pre-preggo (definitely not eating for two) but I can see it in photos and when I look in the mirror. I’ve changed, and I’m not exactly loving it all but it is what it is and as long as I’m keeping it under control and am keeping myself and baby healthy, then so be it.

me + him + my ‘massive’ bump

But I every person I’ve come across recently – friend, family, acquaintance or stranger – has offered their opinion on how I look. From telling me I look like I’m about to drop (and then their horrified face when I tell them I have 3 months to go), to being described as massive, blooming, huge or ‘a big girl’, I’ve heard it all, and the funny thing is that I’m really not that big at all.

I’m well aware that the majority of these comments come from a good place (based on the fact that I’ve probably said something along these lines to friends before now and it definitely would have been meant with nothing but love and admiration) and in some cases are slightly thoughtless interactions from strangers who don’t quite know how else to interact with a pregnant person. But when your confidence is already ever so slightly off its game from the changes happening to your body, all of these individual, albeit well-meant, comments can chip away at that confidence even more.

I’m pretty good at laughing it off, and I genuinely do see it as being something to smile about because there’s a very good reason for it, but even words like ‘blooming’ might well be meant in reference to my bump alone but in my mind, my whole body is blooming (i.e. getting fatter) and it feels like it’s becoming obvious and note-worthy to the whole world. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care at all what people think, but ultimately I know I’ve looked better and when you know you look good, you feel good. And while I’m in the mind set where I can laugh comments off and see the positive intention, I can’t even imagine how it feels for those women who don’t have the best body confidence to begin with. It’s a test of self-esteem there’s no doubt about it.

Funnily enough, I got my biggest ego boost recently on social media – the one place we normally feel worse about ourselves thanks to unrealistic and often totally fake images. I definitely didn’t go looking for an ego boost and was pleasantly surprised at the amount of lovely comments I got on the first picture I’ve posted to Facebook of myself since becoming pregnant. Yes, people may well have just been saying what they thought they should, but they could have said nothing at all, so I decided to take out of it nothing but the positive.

So, if you see me in the next three months and I’m still clearly pregnant, please just lie and tell me I look amazing or that I’m glowing and pregnancy really suits me. It’s what I need right now and I promise I’ll return the lie favour when you need it most.

The Pramshed
Rhyming with Wine
Pink Pear Bear
Run Jump Scrap!

0 thoughts on “Just tell me I look amazing, please.

  1. I have also struggled a lot with self-esteem but found it especially hard when I was pregnant. It does seem like everyone feels like they have the right to comment on your body when you are pregnant. Still to this day my boss likes to remind me of how I waddled when I was in the last few months. I think you look beautiful in the picture! #ForTheLoveOfBlog

    1. Exactly! It would never be ok if you weren’t pregnant! And it’s difficult to say anything without looking like you’re ’emotional’ or don’t have a sense of humour. Good to know I’m not being over sensitive! Thank you for reading and commenting (and for the compliment πŸ˜‰ ) x

  2. Not a doctor but had 3 kids. First one I vomited every day, ate tonnes of donuts and mcdonalds (because the high fat stopped the nausea for about 30-40 mins) and gained 25 kilos. Was freakshow huge. Second pregnancy I wasn’t sick, so I decided I didn’t want to get so huge so snacked on carrots and almonds only to discover I gained 25 kilos anyway. Third child I figured I’d clock it up anyway so ate whatever I wanted and came in at 22 kilos (but she was a girl and the smallest bub of all). So my 2 cents, we have a pregnancy pattern, just do what you need to and don’t sweat it. I lost all the weight each time (over about 18-24 months) with no effort. It’s hard enough as it is, just do what you have to to enjoy it. #FortheloveofBLOG

  3. OMG you DO look amazing! Seriously I didn’t look that good at any point in either of my pregnancies (I appear to have missed the ‘pregnancy glow’ completely). I put on a couple of stone while pregnant but was just happy that the massive bump balanced out the size of my ever increasing backside πŸ™‚ xx #bigpinklink

    1. Ah thank you so much, honestly whether it’s the truth or not just being told you look good makes such a difference!! And that’s a great way of looking at it, if it weren’t for my uncontrollable arse I’d be tipping over now! Thanks for reading and commenting, and I’m sure you did look fab you just weren’t told it enough πŸ™‚ xx

  4. I’m almost 40 weeks now and I have been so surprised by how often people feel the need to comment on the size of my bump. To be fair, most of it has been complementary but people have literally stopped me in the street to say something about it. It’s not normal behaviour to talk about people’s size, so why does it happen as soon as you start to show. I’ve had a pretty big bump the whole way through and the last thing I need is reminding that I am huge.
    So yes, you do look amazing, and be proud of that beautiful baby bump.
    #fartglitter

    1. Exactly, it’s strange how it suddenly becomes acceptable to comment! Thank you for your comment and I hope you’re feeling ok at nearly 40 weeks! Good luck! x

  5. Firstly – you DO look amazing! Secondly – I had exactly the same thing. From about 24 weeks everyone was shocked when I told them my due date and decided to tell me how big I looked. I started obsessively looking up bump pictures of other women as I got a bit paranoid – and I have quite high self esteem usually so this really wasn’t like me. I found it so offensive that suddenly your body becomes public property and that people think it’s ok to tell you you’re huge. I imagine I will be even bigger if/when we have a second but I think this time I might tell people it’s actually quite rude to call someone huge πŸ˜‚ Everybody carries differently, everyone puts on various amounts of weight and if you know you’re relatively active and healthy I wouldn’t worry in the slightest. You look gorgeous from what I can see! #fartglitter

    1. It sounds like we’ve had very similar experiences! You’re so right, everyone’s different and it’s no-ones business to comment on our size, pregnant or not pregnant! Thank so much for the comment 😊 x

  6. There’s nothing more beautiful than a bump! I have total bump envy all the time…try not to let it get to you because you look amazing, I was constantly told I looked tiny which really stressed me out!
    Lovely to read your blog, found via #bigpinlink

    1. Thank you so much! And you’re right I bet I will miss it when it’s gone so need to embrace it! Thanks for reading and commenting πŸ™‚ x

  7. *cringes* I really do wish people would think before they spoke, to a pregnant lady! With hormones all over the place, and the biggest body changes we are ever likely to experience, we just don’t need comments like that to top it all off! You look absolutely amazing in that picture, and to me, you don’t look full term and ready ‘to drop!’ I know I don’t know your normal body shape, but you look just like you have a normal body, but with a bump! I was very small with my first baby-some people still didn’t realise I was pregnant when I was 7 months, and I didn’t buy any particular maternity clothes. With the second, I had a fairly sizeable bump at 8 week-I even told people at 7 weeks, because it was obvious. I saw a friend at 6 months, who shouted across a car park ‘Jesus, you’ve definitely got twins in there, you’re MASSIVE,’ and at 30 weeks, got constant ‘Oooh, it must be any day now’ comments, and I let myself get upset by them all… Please think before you speak people!! And you don’t have anything to worry about at all!
    #bigpinklink

    1. Oh wow, cringe indeed! That must have been quite a shock to the system considering how your first pregnancy went, and those comments couldn’t have helped! Too right, people need to think before they speak (maybe I should start a campaign!) Thanks so much for reading and commenting πŸ™‚ x

  8. You look absolutely stunning! Oh my word I looked like a hippo with both of my two. I swear that I peed on a stick and instantly gained about 3 stone. I got so fed up of wearing that fake smile when people nudged me and said “you sure you haven’t got two in there?” (Hillarious.) Your body is currently doing the most mind-blowing things and it’s perfectly entitled to change shape a bit and get comfy whilst it does so. Be kind to yourself lovely. You really do look fantastic xx
    Thanks for linking with #fartglitter x

    1. Ah bless you, thanks so much! Haha I know what you mean about suddenly gaining after peeing on a stick, although mine was when I eat a big lunch a few weeks back and bloated up, and it just never went back in!! And those ‘funny’ comments about having twins, or the waiter saying ‘oh should you be eating that, do I need to get the towels ready’ when you order a spicy meal (I had that last night), just aren’t funny when you’re sure there’s one in there and you have 2 months left to go!! Thanks for the comment πŸ™‚ xx

  9. First off you look absolutely positively glowing. I think people most definitely discuss the weight when pregnant as a way of telling you you’re getting your bump because many of us want to hear that, but sometimes can hit a not so sweet spot. I was 8stone pre pregnancy (only 5ft3) and I went up to 11.5stone, so you can imagine the things I heard. But I did try to embrace and make the most of this ‘hall pass’ of weight gain. Wishing you many more happy glowing days and a beautiful labour #fartglitter

    1. Thank you! You’re right, people mostly have good intentions so I try and remember that, I’ve probably put my foot in it before now and only really understood what the comments can do to someone now I’m in this position. As you say, embrace the change! πŸ™‚ x

  10. Ohhh I do love a good bump! I think pregnancy makes a women really glow and I think the comments normally come from an excited place. They aren’t meant to hurt, upset or scare you. You DO look amazing.
    As for that M&M thing.. Is she crazy? Hahahaha

    1. Ha I know, I couldn’t believe it! I know, it’s all meant with good intentions which is what I’m repeating over and over in my head when I’m being told how huge I look for the fourth time that day haha x

  11. Ugh, I just can’t bear it when people say anything other than a pregnant woman looks fab. Why does someone feel the need to say ‘a big girl’ it’s so rude and unhelpful! So, can I take this opportunity to tell you how amazing you look. You really do. #bestandworst

  12. Oh lovely I really feel for you here. I would hate it like you if everyone made a comment about my weight/appearance when I was pregnant. It’s not these comments we need when we are at out most vulnerable and feeling conscious. I hope that you have been able to ruse about it, as you are doing great and growing a human baby. Thanks so much for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

    1. Thanks Claire, it’s not what we need to hear but you’re right, I’m growing a human so I need to let it all go over my head! Thanks for reading and for the lovely comment x

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