The second question on everyone’s lips when they hear I’m expecting, after ‘when are you due’, is ‘are you going to find out’?
I guess when you’re not expecting yourself, the only really interesting facts for you are whether it’s going to be a boy or a girl (so you can start ‘helping’ with name suggestions) and how long the person is going to have off work (so you can eye up their chair/stapler/job).
It’s never been a question in my mind – I won’t find out as I want a surprise, you know, in case first time labour and a new born wanting to attach itself to my boob isn’t enough of a shock to the system. But it’s a nice surprise, and seeing my Mum’s reaction to finding out my brother’s new baby (her second grandchild) was a girl was priceless, and a little embarrassing. No-one wants tears in a garden centre unless you’re under 5 years old.
It seems so common these days to find out what you’re having, to the point that I seem to be in the minority. People’s reaction is to either coo over how nice a surprise is, or to tell me how they’d NEVER be able to go through pregnancy without knowing if they’re having a little Bob or a little Barbara (neither names on my list).
But some people think that and then have no choice. When my friend was pregnant with her now 2 year old, she was desperate to find out what she was having but at the scan her baby was turned away so they couldn’t see. They took it as a sign and didn’t find out and were over the moon when their beautiful baby girl popped out. It was the first lesson in losing control during her pregnancy, as she also had her heart set on a home water birth, but due to a breach baby ended up having a planned C-section which is about as un-homey and un-water birthy as you can get!
Two of my friends due later this year have so far found out what they’re having, both baby boys, and when they told me the news I was so excited for them and could easily see why they’d chosen to find out. It makes it all so much more real and for the first time, I was tempted to do the same.
But no, we’re sticking to our guns and for the next five months Little Lynch will be a he/she hybrid, depending on my mood and how hard he/she moves about (very little movement makes it a boy, obvs).