As per many preggos in their first trimester, I’m trying to keep it under wraps until the magic 12 week mark. I still can’t help thinking that it’s not actually true as I still have no symptoms, five and a half weeks pregnant, although I’m of course playing it safe and living life as though I am indeed over five weeks pregnant.
This includes changes to my diet, as I mentioned in my first Pregnant Foodie post, to make sure I’m giving my baby all the nutrients it needs to grow big and strong (but not too big, please). With the diet changes comes the total cull of alcohol, but in the same way that I’m currently having no food aversions, I’m still gagging for a glass of wine on a Friday night. But I’m aiming to go tee-total, so while I certainly don’t judge people who have the odd one during their pregnancy, I don’t intend to join in.
So I’m preparing myself for the social situations where this could become a minefield. If you’re also in your first trimester and are trying to work out how to navigate this clanger too, here’s a few ideas of how to deal with all of those questions from people who just have to know why your not drinking. You know, cos you not drinking totally affects them and their good time.
1. I’m on antibiotics for an infected wisdom tooth
Probably one of the most obvious and over used excuses, but the key tip when you’re asked what you’re on them for (because the nosy buggers are bound to ask) is to say it’s for a wisdom tooth infection. Any other ailment can be cured with standard antibiotics, but those wisdom teeth need industrial strength medication, and trust me, they do not mix well with alcohol. Vomit. Everywhere. Immediately.
If you’ve never had a wisdom tooth infection before so are not sure how you’d go about making this one believable, it’s basically hell on earth. You can’t eat, you can’t brush your teeth, you have headaches… the wisdom teeth are the root to all evil and those antibiotics are the perfect get out and definitely not the type that ‘just stop working’ if you mix with jaeger.
2. I’ve got blood tests tomorrow morning
No-one can argue with this, and actually in our case it could well be true. A simple, ‘ah I’ve got to go for some blood tests tomorrow so I can’t have alcohol in my system’ will get you out of it, and when they inevitably ask what they’re for, just be totally vague and give the impression it might be either a women’s problem (if it’s a man, if it’s a woman they’ll want to know it all), or something a bit embarrassing that will ruin your friendship if it’s discussed any further. The word ‘toilet’ thrown in usually does the trick.
3. I’m on a diet and alcohol is the devil
Say it with enough conviction and who can have anything but respect for someone who’s giving up drinking in the name of getting fit and healthy. We all know how calorie-laden alcohol is so it’s natural to cut this out straight of the bat, and it’s pretty common knowledge that Weight Watchers points are sacred, and most normal people will sacrifice a glass of Sauvy B to squeeze a mini pizza for one into their points allowance.
The main issue with this one is that you have to commit. If it’s drinks with work people, this can’t be your excuse if you’ve shared/demolished the majority share of a tub of Celebrations that day. You need to be all in, or it just won’t fly. Or, if you’re a 7 stone whisp of a person, and it would be completely unbelievable that you would ever choose or need to diet, this may also not be the one for you.
4. I’m training for a marathon and am on a strict diet
If you’re the latter in tip 3, try tip 4 – say you’re training for a sporting event and your training diet doesn’t allow triple sambucas. Again, this has to be reasonably believable, so don’t use it if you’re with people who know full well that the only time you run is when the doors to the Zara sale open. If that’s you, maybe refer to tip number one.
5. Have a wing man
Yes I know the whole point of this is because you don’t want anyone to know your ‘with child’. But if you do have a good friend that you would be happy to know your news, and who would be there as a support for you should anything go wrong, it does help to have that wing man on a night out. They can be there to back up your story (“oh god yeah, don’t even think about drinking on those tooth tablets. There will be vomit everywhere. Immediately. Trust me, I’ve been there”), or if you’re not in a situation where you can buy your own drinks that could pass as alcoholic, they can benefit from your situation by drinking your alcohol-filled glass while you slip off on one of your many toilet trips and drink from your stashed water bottle.
6. Become a social hermit
On the whole, this is where I’m at. I’m planning on avoiding as many work and social functions as possible for the next seven weeks, only attending when I’m driving and have the ultimate excuse not to drink. It might sound boring but I’ll just have to sacrifice the small talk and hangovers for my sofa and pyjamas. It’s a terrible compromise but one I’m willing to make!
Do you have any other tips or ideas on how to avoid the dreaded drink during your first trimester without raising suspicions?!